It's not funny i'm a womanman
by Dante Kelsae
Summary: harry turnes female daphne turnes male intend on doing romance but my first fic nd never written romance before. rated for later chapters hopefully. sorry for the sucky summary
1. Chapter 1

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_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

**A/N this is my first attempt at any fan fic so probably won't be too good but hey read anyway and if you like it review and say so also i intend on making next chapters longer also sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes which i think there is a lot of also I don't intend on continuing unless i get a minimum of 10 good reviews don't want t rite it if no 1 likes it but even so won't update for a while**

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**chapter 1**

**oh my god im a girl/boy**

It was a depressing morning on the last day of July in Privet Drive where all the houses looked exactly the same in every detail apart from the number on the door. The garden lawns were a sickly yellow due to the recent hose pipe ban and lack of rain. but this was a normal day in privet drive or at least it was until there was a sudden ear bleeding shriek that awakened half the street originating from No .4.

"Petunia what are you screaming about at this time a... who the bloody hell are you girl." Shouted Vernon Dursley as he entered the kitchen expecting to see his good for nothing freak of a nephew making his breakfast. Instead to find a teenage girl dressed in the hand me downs he had given to his nephew cooking what smelled like bacon and eggs. this girl had long raven black hair down to her mid back and was wearing round glasses with penetrating emerald green eyes behind them "unfortunately uncle it's me Harry the freak!" Harry shouted right back while lifting his/her fringe to reveal a lightning bolt shaped scar "I don't know how or why I'm like this it's how I woke up this morning. but if I had not come down and started breakfast this morning you would have been banging on my door shouting about it so why don't you just shut up, sit down and eat your stupid meal." He then turned and went back to his bedroom to finish and send the letter he had started to his headmaster on this the worst birthday of his life.

Meanwhile at Greengrass Manor a teenage boy awoke from his slumber wearing a emerald green nightie suddenly the boy started shouting "Astoria what the hell have you done this time you little cow." Astoria came running into the boy's bedroom shouting that she hadn't done anything and then when she saw her sister looked like a man with short brown bed hair and deep blue eyes dressed only in a green nightie she fell to the floor with laughter."Daph I ... I swear I don't ... don't have a clue what's happened to you..." the rest was choked off by her laughter so Daphne ran down the stairs to have her mother undo whatever had been done to her.

"I'm sorry honey I don't know the counter to whatever this is maybe we should go to St. Mungo's to see if they know what has happened" Daphne's mother said sounding rather worried about what was going on with her daughters anatomy "but mum what if someone asks who I am I don't want people knowing i turned into a guy." Daphne said thinking of all the horrible things that would happen if her housemates found out "then we'll tell everyone but the healers that you are a distant relative and the healers will not tell anyone unless we say that it's alright."

"You are joking aren't you Mrs. Greengrass this young man is perfectly healthy I can't find any problem whatsoever" Healer Abbott said frowning for having her time wasted on nothing. "No I most certainly am not joking my daughter is now my son surely you can change her back" Mrs. Greengrass said hoping she could have her daughter back the way she was supposed to be. "Mrs. Greengrass I'm sorry but all my scans indicate that your "daughter" has and always will be a boy, and even if it was a transfiguration I would have picked it up on my scans and it would wear off after about an hour if it was a really powerful one maybe two hours."

"SO WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?" Screamed Daphne after being awoken from the scans and told she/he would remain a guy as there was nothing they could do for her/him? "Well honey we could always go to the most knowledgeable wizard we can and ask for his help" her mother spoke softly in a comforting tone "mum we can't if someone found out" started Daphne but before she could finish she was cut off by her mother "and who exactly would be able to get this information out of him hmm I could think of no one who could get this information out of Dumbledore how about you?"


	2. IMPORTANT FOR CONTINUATION

_**A/N: i'v added a poll as i wasn't satisfied with my work pleas vote if not positive by 10th febuary will not be continuing my story but if positive i will rewrite the chapters as i am not satisfied with what i have will generally stay the same bt will try to write it better nd maybe add a few changes **_


	3. Decision Made

ok i want to thank every one who voted on my poll i also want to apologise for a slip i made by putting feb 10th when i meant march 10th i will be rewriting both my stories twin potters phoenix will be the main and i will write boy girl when i am having trouble with the twins i will try to have twins first chapter out by the 15th but there is alot going on in my life at the moment as i'm currenty looking for work and will be starting at a place that helps people with confidence issues like me on monday the 7th so i'm not sure when i will maage to get the first chapter out fingers crossed for the 15th so the next update should be chapter 1 thnx for reading see ya the 15th hopefully


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